[ See, that's just it -- more has already begun without any intentional decision on his part. Earlier, he elected to harden his heart? Because Wanda has already gotten her fingers into it. She's more than his initial assessment of a potential asset. He can tell himself that she's still a risk, but the sentiment behind it lacks bite. She's his student, the reality of which still strikes him as odd sometimes, when he quietly watches her struggle with theory or direct her scarlet like a symphonic conductor. She's a breath of fresh air in the otherwise heavy routine of helping Asgard regain her footing under the guise of the Allfather.
And the root of all these offshoots is the pairing of her soul to his own. Does he love her for it? No, and he shouldn't -- not just because the universe decided on her. When he was young and ignorant, Loki scoffed at the idea of allowing fate to bind him to another -- until he realized, so many decades later at the foot of those stairs in the vault with Odin feebly towering above him, that perhaps there wasn't anyone the fates would subject to him.
Oh, how the grass is greener on the other side.
No, Wanda hasn't found purchase in his heart because she is his soulmate. Rather, its condition simply got her foot in the door. She has pushed against him, but never away. She respects his intimate knowledge of Asgardian sorcery, but neither grovels nor dismisses. Their time together has rekindled a sense of solicitude that Loki thought he'd lost in Frigga's death. He thought wrong, of course -- still caring for Thor in a twisted sense of brotherly love whilst denying it, particularly to himself -- but to open himself to Wanda this much, frustratingly slow though it may be -- speaks volumes to the fact that she has proven herself something of an equal to him.
Pompous, he doesn't consciously consider anyone his equal -- but Thor is quite nearly there. So, too, is Wanda, the relevancy of which is thus: Loki cannot love someone he doesn't consider a threat. It's a distorted flavor of respect, but respect nonetheless.
Without admitting it, Wanda has his -- and more. A tenuously hopeful curiosity smolders within his chest, that she would educate herself on the sins of the Frost Giants and then snap the link that binds them to him. He can try to explain it away as Midgardian ignorance, but there it is again -- that excruciating desire to trust.
The cautious willingness to do it.
His gaze idly drifts to the pie in his smaller, slender hand, considering their next step, still processing the weight of her stance. ]
... Now that you're fully recovered, we ought to divert some of your studies away from texts. [ He glances at Wanda askew, the hint of a smile in his eyes. ] Would you accompany me to Alfheim?
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And the root of all these offshoots is the pairing of her soul to his own. Does he love her for it? No, and he shouldn't -- not just because the universe decided on her. When he was young and ignorant, Loki scoffed at the idea of allowing fate to bind him to another -- until he realized, so many decades later at the foot of those stairs in the vault with Odin feebly towering above him, that perhaps there wasn't anyone the fates would subject to him.
Oh, how the grass is greener on the other side.
No, Wanda hasn't found purchase in his heart because she is his soulmate. Rather, its condition simply got her foot in the door. She has pushed against him, but never away. She respects his intimate knowledge of Asgardian sorcery, but neither grovels nor dismisses. Their time together has rekindled a sense of solicitude that Loki thought he'd lost in Frigga's death. He thought wrong, of course -- still caring for Thor in a twisted sense of brotherly love whilst denying it, particularly to himself -- but to open himself to Wanda this much, frustratingly slow though it may be -- speaks volumes to the fact that she has proven herself something of an equal to him.
Pompous, he doesn't consciously consider anyone his equal -- but Thor is quite nearly there. So, too, is Wanda, the relevancy of which is thus: Loki cannot love someone he doesn't consider a threat. It's a distorted flavor of respect, but respect nonetheless.
Without admitting it, Wanda has his -- and more. A tenuously hopeful curiosity smolders within his chest, that she would educate herself on the sins of the Frost Giants and then snap the link that binds them to him. He can try to explain it away as Midgardian ignorance, but there it is again -- that excruciating desire to trust.
The cautious willingness to do it.
His gaze idly drifts to the pie in his smaller, slender hand, considering their next step, still processing the weight of her stance. ]
... Now that you're fully recovered, we ought to divert some of your studies away from texts. [ He glances at Wanda askew, the hint of a smile in his eyes. ] Would you accompany me to Alfheim?