Wanda can't help but be struck by how pure Loki is despite whatever nightmare she's gone through to end up here. Mere moments ago she was begging Wanda to stay and now...
"Hush," she whispers, again laying her finger on Loki's lips. "It's all right. I can stay tonight." She can reach out to Pietro to reassure him that she's okay, and besides, Strucker won't let the twins in the same room yet. 'For their protection,' he tells them, but they could never hurt each other, no matter how tenuous their control over their newfound powers. He's afraid of them, he just thinks Wanda can't see it if he tries to project an air of sincere concern.
So go back to sit in a cold cell by herself, or stay here with someone who needs her where she can be warm and held through the night? It's really not much of a choice.
The man mutters something about getting their dinner and leaves and Wanda lets go of a breath she hadn't realized she was holding and curls into Loki. She saw how the other woman had tried to shield her. Oh, Loki...Wanda can only imagine the terrible things that must have happened to her to make her like this.
Loki just wants good things for the few good people in her life, that's it. Everything else doesn't matter. She's learned that it doesn't make a difference what you do, if you can't give the good to those who deserve and need it. There's no point in trying to keep out the things that might make someone happy and healthy and she honestly believes that Wanda would be better off with her brother, even if it did mean Loki would be alone.
She's used to being alone, she can go it again. Besides, she's not actually alone, not really, there's the things in the dark, the things that shift inside her mind, hungry and fierce.
"Tonight," she echoes, nodding her head and resting against Wanda once again. "Tomorrow is another day. No one knows what tomorrow has yet."
Which is to say that Loki doesn't expect this to last but if she can have tonight, she'll grab it with both hands.
The mention of food makes her grow a little pale. The idea of eating makes her insides perk up and feel sick all at once. She's had trouble keeping down food and when she has been able to eat, it's not been much or anything of real quality. However, the idea of food still makes her stomach growl in eager anticipation.
Eldritch abominations don't count as company, Loki. But for now, Wanda's going to keep her as safe as she can. "You have me now," she says, tenderly tucking a stray piece of hair behind Loki's ear. "I don't want to think about tomorrow." They're still in no position to escape yet, even though Wanda's always looking for an opening, and training is...sometimes difficult.
One day, all of this will be worth it. They'll be able to fix Sokovia and keep their people safe from people like Strucker and Stark. But until then, all they can do is endure as best as they can.
The man comes back ten minutes later with their dinners: simple fare, but enough to keep them well-fed. The bar is very low here, but at least they can count on three decent meals a day. HYDRA isn't starving them - bad for their plans. How can the twins fight if they're weak from hunger? "It doesn't look terrible?" Wanda says with a small smile after he leaves. But she could definitely do better.
Loki sits up, shaking a little with anticipation. Her body is still adjusting to a number of things, one of which is getting a steady diet again and the other is the quality of food this planet has.
(It's not that Odin was trying to starve her, she wouldn't be useful if she were unable to work, but between Loki forgetting to eat and Odin not making food a main priority --and occasionally just going for something like IV fluids when Loki wouldn't eat or it had been too long --, she did not eat as often as she probably should have.)
Loki reaches out, picking up a piece of bread and tearing it into pieces, eating it bit by bit. She's trying not to eat fast but her hands are moving with more urgency than she actually notices.
For half a second,s he almost forgets Wanda is even there, her brain singing with the idea of putting food inside her that might stay down this time.
On one hand, beggars (quite literally, in some darker parts of their lives) can't be choosers. On the other hand, whenever they've had means, Wanda's done her best to keep herself and Pietro eating decently. This isn't the worst food she's had, but the bread's on the dry side by her standards and the pasta sauce is just kind of there. Wasted opportunity, if you ask her. Learn to use spices, gosh.
Loki, however, is eating as if it's been quite a while since the last time she had food. Wanda's brow furrows in concern. "Did you eat today?" she asks softly. It's not a criticism - Wanda's just concerned that maybe the full meal they've brought Loki is a show they're putting on for her.
Loki nods. She'd tried eating before, she really had but it only ended in her stomach churning until she was ill in a corner. A part of her is hoping that if she eats in smaller bites, she won't be quite as prone to making herself sick.
"Food," she says around a mouthful of bread. "Doesn't like me as much as I like it." She offers a small, apologetic smile. "I try to keep it down but it doesn't stay."
Then she's handing Wanda the other piece of bread. "But maybe this time will be different?" There's just a tinge of hope in her voice when she says it. "Maybe things will behave."
"You sound like my brother," Wanda says with a small laugh (because if she doesn't laugh, she'll be paralyzed with how helpless they still are). "Is it the medicine? They gave us something so our powers wouldn't be so hard to control but our stomachs didn't like it."
She takes the bread and allows herself a small bite. Wanda's still on a lower dosage of the medication, so she knows if she tries to stuff herself all at once there's a decent chance that food can still make her sick. "Maybe that's why the sauce is so bland. I hope one day I can make real food for you."
Loki shrugs. They'd been trying to test things on her, see what she reacts to, once they realized she wasn't human but most of it just left her dizzy and tired. Sometimes worse things would happen, she'd get ill or the things in her mind would stir a little more than normal but she tried not to think abut that.
She honestly spends a lot of her time trying not to think at all.
Loki tilts her head at Wanda, a small smile on her lips. "Do you like it? Making food, I mean."
It's a simple question but Loki finds herself genuinely curious about the answer. She wants to know what Wanda likes, the things that bring her joy.
Wanda grins, perking up in a way she hasn't since she stepped through the door. "I like baking best, but all cooking is relaxing. And if I didn't, my brother would have us living on pizza and fast food." She laughs - some of her proudest moments are the times she's gotten him to eat his vegetables and like it.
But speaking of Pietro...as Wanda takes another bite of the bread, she reaches out for his mind with a reassuring touch. She's fine, he doesn't need to worry, she'll tell him all about it tomorrow.
"What kinds of foods do you like?" she asks with a smile. "I wouldn't mind cooking for the rest of them if we could have something better."
Loki smiles back, pleased to have somehow found a good topic of conversation. Food, like a lot of things, isn't something she thinks about too often. She knows it's something she needs but she doesn't derive a lot of pleasure from it most of the time.
However, that has a lot more to do with circumstance than anything else.
"I don't--" She starts, a little uncertainly. "I don't remember." Loki looks down at the food before her, sliding the last bit of bread through the sauce before nibbling at it. "I'll try things though?" She looks hopeful. "Especially if you make it."
Wanda just grins. It's sad that Loki can't remember what kinds of things she likes to eat, but that means that Wanda gets to reintroduce her to the simple pleasure of a good meal. Once they get out of here, she can at least help Loki make some better memories even if she can't undo whatever happened to her. "We will find something you like. I promise it will taste better than this."
Despite their circumstances, she can't help but start making plans: snickerdoodle cookies, maybe? Loki seems like a snickerdoodle person. Or she could start with a cake roll. Or maybe paprikash for something savory...
She's probably getting a little ahead of herself, but it's nice to talk about a happier future for once. It makes Wanda feel more like a normal person again, like there will still be something left of her when they've taken Sokovia back. "Do you think you like sweet or savory foods more?"
"Could you?" She sounds a little surprised, prodding lightly at the food with her fork as she speaks. "That sounds...Amazing." She can't help the smile that blossoms on her face. "You making it, I mean. You can create something so useful and good, that is...It's a gift."
She considers for a long moment, unsure of what to say at first. She likes the idea of sweetness on her tongue, the taste hitting her and waking her up, stirring up energy and sending it racing through her.
"Sweet," she announces, looking at Wanda to somehow mak sure it was a proper answer. "I think sweet is nice."
Wanda flushes and looks down at her dinner. Such praise before Loki's even tasted her food! She really has a lot of faith in her. "It's not so hard. Anyone can learn if they have enough patience."
She takes a bite of the pasta, then glances back up at Loki a little shyly. This is different from baking for Pietro or offering to make something for their friends. Wanda can think of so many possibilities and she desperately wants Loki to like something. "We can start with something small, like cookies. You can help if you want?"
Loki nods in understanding. "Patience can help you accomplish a lot." She smiles, scooping up a bit of pasta with her fork and taking a bite.
Something about the sauce is making her stomach start to turn a little and she closes her eyes, trying to concentrate on Wanda's words, rather than the feeling of nausea inside her.
"I'd like that," she says softly. "I want to help."
Wanda puts down her bread and reaches for Loki's hand. She's not sure exactly what's wrong this time, but at least Loki's still able to talk? That's always a good sign.
"I'm here. You're all right," she says softly, squeezing her hand. "Try to focus on breathing, slowly."
Wanda reaches out another tendril of thought and-- oh. Another impending disagreement with her food, apparently. "Do you want some water?" That might help...or it might make it worse, Wanda's not sure.
Tentatively, Wanda reaches out to rub light, soothing circles on Loki's back. "Shhhhh. You need better food than this." And your freedom, she thinks, although she never dares to voice her true opinions on Strucker. It could get all three of them in terrible trouble, and Wanda's very aware that the illusion of cooperation is all that's stopping HYDRA from trying to outright control them the way they did to the Soldier she's seen in some of their minds. "Maybe you should take a break to let it settle?"
She smiles, it's tired and still strained at the edges but it's a smile all the same. "hank you." She leans into the touch, her breathing slowing down as her body starts to settle down into a less rebellious state.
Shifting a little, Loki finds herself pressing against Wanda, if the other woman will allow. She's shut her eyes and is breathing slow, careful breaths, trying to make sure everything is calm before she speaks again.
"You don't belong here," she says softly. "You're too kind."
Wanda wraps one arm around Loki and allows her to lean into her shoulder, pressing a gentle kiss to her dark hair. This strange tenderness comes so easily to her where Loki is concerned. "I have you. Just focus on your breath," she murmurs against the other woman's hair.
One day, she will wonder if this is what stories really mean by love at first sight: not something striking and easily identifiable, but rather an overwhelming emotion one stumbles into. "You don't belong here, either. How did they find you?"
She hums, a soft affirmative sounds and lets herself be held. It feels good, comforting and safe in a way she doesn't recall ever feeling. Surely she's had the experience before but well, those memories aren't things she has access to at this point.
Loki knows the flutter in her heart, the feeling of kindness and care that she feels towards Wanda is a good thing. Maybe it's the only good thing she has right now but she is damn sure she'll do anything she can to keep it. She will move the sky for this strange, wonderful, caring woman who seems to have taken to her.
"I--" she starts, unsure of what to say for a moment. "I don't know. I had found my way here and...and they said they could take care of things. They promised that I could be safe..."
She allows her head to rest against Loki's for another long moment. Physical contact seems to be helping her and Wanda wouldn't mind even if she wasn't cold. If only her powers weren't so unstable...if only she could get the three of them safely out of here...
"They tell many people that." Wanda bites her lip, takes a breath, and tries to keep her voice as soft and even as possible. "Have you seen the Scepter? Did they use it on you?" That would explain her state of mind, although Wanda's feeling too out of sorts to check Loki's mind for tampering herself, much less try to fix it.
"Scepter?" Loki shakes her head. "I don't remember? I don't think so but I might be wrong, I don't..." She sighs, pressing her fingers into her forehead for a moment. "Coming here, everything is fuzzy. Odd and and loud and pain. It's hard to keep track of what's happening."
She takes in a breath, slow and steadying. "I think they asked me questions. Lots of questions but I don't recall what they were anymore. Everything was too loud. I think I started screaming? At some point. Everything inside was too sharp to think. It was so hard to remember what people were saying..."
Wanda wraps both arms around Loki then, holding her close and stroking her hair. "Then don't try to think about it. I'm sorry. I just...I want to help you, but if I reach, I get so dizzy..."
She had wanted Strucker to pay for lying to them, for killing so many young, idealistic Sokovians in such a horrible manner, and now he has even more to answer for. But she also knows all too well what HYDRA does to uncooperative weapons. If they aren't very careful in their escape attempt, they're just going to make it worse.
Loki relaxes against Wanda, nodding her head. "Dizzy," she echoes. "So dizzy. Everything is too loud, too bright. You lose yourself in the world around you." She doesn't know what Wanda can do, not yet, but she knows overwhelm, she knows the flooding of the senses and overstimulation of having streams poured into your mind.
"Don't get dizzy," she says, her voice gentle. "Don't let it overtake you. Don't let it win." Whether hse's talking to herself or Wanda might not be entirely clear but she means the words, no matter who she's saying it to.
"You help," Wanda murmurs, letting her eyes slide shut. "Like...like an anchor. It's hard when I'm alone, but you're here now." The times they take Pietro away and leave her in her cell are the worst. It's too quiet and all these strange, unfriendly minds start pressing against hers too much. At least when they're working with her there's something to demand her attention.
But above all, it's not knowing what they're doing to him that's the absolute worst. She's seen what HYDRA can do to strip away what makes a person themselves - memories of some 'Winter Soldier,' possibly even whatever's happened to Loki. Pietro is not as good at playing a part as Wanda is and even though he doesn't know everything, because she doesn't dare tell him - she worries.
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"Hush," she whispers, again laying her finger on Loki's lips. "It's all right. I can stay tonight." She can reach out to Pietro to reassure him that she's okay, and besides, Strucker won't let the twins in the same room yet. 'For their protection,' he tells them, but they could never hurt each other, no matter how tenuous their control over their newfound powers. He's afraid of them, he just thinks Wanda can't see it if he tries to project an air of sincere concern.
So go back to sit in a cold cell by herself, or stay here with someone who needs her where she can be warm and held through the night? It's really not much of a choice.
The man mutters something about getting their dinner and leaves and Wanda lets go of a breath she hadn't realized she was holding and curls into Loki. She saw how the other woman had tried to shield her. Oh, Loki...Wanda can only imagine the terrible things that must have happened to her to make her like this.
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She's used to being alone, she can go it again. Besides, she's not actually alone, not really, there's the things in the dark, the things that shift inside her mind, hungry and fierce.
"Tonight," she echoes, nodding her head and resting against Wanda once again. "Tomorrow is another day. No one knows what tomorrow has yet."
Which is to say that Loki doesn't expect this to last but if she can have tonight, she'll grab it with both hands.
The mention of food makes her grow a little pale. The idea of eating makes her insides perk up and feel sick all at once. She's had trouble keeping down food and when she has been able to eat, it's not been much or anything of real quality. However, the idea of food still makes her stomach growl in eager anticipation.
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One day, all of this will be worth it. They'll be able to fix Sokovia and keep their people safe from people like Strucker and Stark. But until then, all they can do is endure as best as they can.
The man comes back ten minutes later with their dinners: simple fare, but enough to keep them well-fed. The bar is very low here, but at least they can count on three decent meals a day. HYDRA isn't starving them - bad for their plans. How can the twins fight if they're weak from hunger? "It doesn't look terrible?" Wanda says with a small smile after he leaves. But she could definitely do better.
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(It's not that Odin was trying to starve her, she wouldn't be useful if she were unable to work, but between Loki forgetting to eat and Odin not making food a main priority --and occasionally just going for something like IV fluids when Loki wouldn't eat or it had been too long --, she did not eat as often as she probably should have.)
Loki reaches out, picking up a piece of bread and tearing it into pieces, eating it bit by bit. She's trying not to eat fast but her hands are moving with more urgency than she actually notices.
For half a second,s he almost forgets Wanda is even there, her brain singing with the idea of putting food inside her that might stay down this time.
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Loki, however, is eating as if it's been quite a while since the last time she had food. Wanda's brow furrows in concern. "Did you eat today?" she asks softly. It's not a criticism - Wanda's just concerned that maybe the full meal they've brought Loki is a show they're putting on for her.
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"Food," she says around a mouthful of bread. "Doesn't like me as much as I like it." She offers a small, apologetic smile. "I try to keep it down but it doesn't stay."
Then she's handing Wanda the other piece of bread. "But maybe this time will be different?" There's just a tinge of hope in her voice when she says it. "Maybe things will behave."
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She takes the bread and allows herself a small bite. Wanda's still on a lower dosage of the medication, so she knows if she tries to stuff herself all at once there's a decent chance that food can still make her sick. "Maybe that's why the sauce is so bland. I hope one day I can make real food for you."
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She honestly spends a lot of her time trying not to think at all.
Loki tilts her head at Wanda, a small smile on her lips. "Do you like it? Making food, I mean."
It's a simple question but Loki finds herself genuinely curious about the answer. She wants to know what Wanda likes, the things that bring her joy.
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But speaking of Pietro...as Wanda takes another bite of the bread, she reaches out for his mind with a reassuring touch. She's fine, he doesn't need to worry, she'll tell him all about it tomorrow.
"What kinds of foods do you like?" she asks with a smile. "I wouldn't mind cooking for the rest of them if we could have something better."
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However, that has a lot more to do with circumstance than anything else.
"I don't--" She starts, a little uncertainly. "I don't remember." Loki looks down at the food before her, sliding the last bit of bread through the sauce before nibbling at it. "I'll try things though?" She looks hopeful. "Especially if you make it."
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Despite their circumstances, she can't help but start making plans: snickerdoodle cookies, maybe? Loki seems like a snickerdoodle person. Or she could start with a cake roll. Or maybe paprikash for something savory...
She's probably getting a little ahead of herself, but it's nice to talk about a happier future for once. It makes Wanda feel more like a normal person again, like there will still be something left of her when they've taken Sokovia back. "Do you think you like sweet or savory foods more?"
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She considers for a long moment, unsure of what to say at first. She likes the idea of sweetness on her tongue, the taste hitting her and waking her up, stirring up energy and sending it racing through her.
"Sweet," she announces, looking at Wanda to somehow mak sure it was a proper answer. "I think sweet is nice."
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She takes a bite of the pasta, then glances back up at Loki a little shyly. This is different from baking for Pietro or offering to make something for their friends. Wanda can think of so many possibilities and she desperately wants Loki to like something. "We can start with something small, like cookies. You can help if you want?"
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Something about the sauce is making her stomach start to turn a little and she closes her eyes, trying to concentrate on Wanda's words, rather than the feeling of nausea inside her.
"I'd like that," she says softly. "I want to help."
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"I'm here. You're all right," she says softly, squeezing her hand. "Try to focus on breathing, slowly."
Wanda reaches out another tendril of thought and-- oh. Another impending disagreement with her food, apparently. "Do you want some water?" That might help...or it might make it worse, Wanda's not sure.
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It's not unexpected, the reaction tot the food, but having someone here to help is making it feel much less awful than it has been since she arrived.
"I'm sorry," she mumbles, after taking a sip of the water. "I just don't think the food cares for me."
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Shifting a little, Loki finds herself pressing against Wanda, if the other woman will allow. She's shut her eyes and is breathing slow, careful breaths, trying to make sure everything is calm before she speaks again.
"You don't belong here," she says softly. "You're too kind."
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One day, she will wonder if this is what stories really mean by love at first sight: not something striking and easily identifiable, but rather an overwhelming emotion one stumbles into. "You don't belong here, either. How did they find you?"
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Loki knows the flutter in her heart, the feeling of kindness and care that she feels towards Wanda is a good thing. Maybe it's the only good thing she has right now but she is damn sure she'll do anything she can to keep it. She will move the sky for this strange, wonderful, caring woman who seems to have taken to her.
"I--" she starts, unsure of what to say for a moment. "I don't know. I had found my way here and...and they said they could take care of things. They promised that I could be safe..."
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"They tell many people that." Wanda bites her lip, takes a breath, and tries to keep her voice as soft and even as possible. "Have you seen the Scepter? Did they use it on you?" That would explain her state of mind, although Wanda's feeling too out of sorts to check Loki's mind for tampering herself, much less try to fix it.
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She takes in a breath, slow and steadying. "I think they asked me questions. Lots of questions but I don't recall what they were anymore. Everything was too loud. I think I started screaming? At some point. Everything inside was too sharp to think. It was so hard to remember what people were saying..."
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She had wanted Strucker to pay for lying to them, for killing so many young, idealistic Sokovians in such a horrible manner, and now he has even more to answer for. But she also knows all too well what HYDRA does to uncooperative weapons. If they aren't very careful in their escape attempt, they're just going to make it worse.
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"Don't get dizzy," she says, her voice gentle. "Don't let it overtake you. Don't let it win." Whether hse's talking to herself or Wanda might not be entirely clear but she means the words, no matter who she's saying it to.
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But above all, it's not knowing what they're doing to him that's the absolute worst. She's seen what HYDRA can do to strip away what makes a person themselves - memories of some 'Winter Soldier,' possibly even whatever's happened to Loki. Pietro is not as good at playing a part as Wanda is and even though he doesn't know everything, because she doesn't dare tell him - she worries.
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