Loki nods, eyes shutting at the gentle touch. "Yes? Yes. Yes, please?" There's a hitch in her voice, a pleasing that she doesn't even bother to try and hide. "Please?"
She wants this more than she's wanted anything in what feels like forever. Wanda makes her feel a little closer to being a person, a little closer to being safe. She wants to belong to this woman, to be claimed and cared for and do what she can in return to earn that. She doesn't know what she can do to help but anything Wanda wants, Loki will move stars to give it to her.
At least, she'll try. She'll try until there's nothing left of hero to make the effort. She'll try until the universe is sweeping up the dust she had come from.
Wanda's heart twists. Loki looks so hopeful that she can't bear to disappoint her, even if she's not entirely convinced that Loki isn't doing this just because she thinks it's what Wanda wants.
"You don't need to prove anything," she tells her kindly, lightly stroking her cheek. "You're enough. Because you're my friend." Although 'friend' really may not be the right word anymore...
She wishes she could help her understand, wishes there was anything at all she could do to make this better or make the person responsible pay. Every protective instinct she has is screaming at her to do whatever it takes to soothe the hurt she can feel in Loki's mind and yet...she has to be know that this isn't just the trauma speaking. "I only want you to be sure."
"I--" She hesitates for a long moment, not because she has doubts but because she's not sure if Wanda even wants her at this point. A part of her realizes this is something possibly more complicated than Loki initially thought and maybe jumping in head first, when they're both in this place might not be the best plan.
After all, she's asking her to take on a lot. She's asking to be taken with her jagged edges and broken parts and yet, this woman who she barely knows isn't actually turning her away, at least not outright.
Shit, is she terrible for this?
Loki swallows, sucking in a breath through clenched teeth. "I'm sorry," she finally says. "I'm sorry, I'm not trying to--" But she has no idea what she wanted to say there.
"You're my friend," she finally offers. "That can be enough? maybe? We can make it be enough."
Did she break something? It feels like she must have - Loki's fallen into those desperate apologies again and it hurts and she just wants to make it stop.
Really, she can't be blamed for resorting to desperate measures.
She rests one finger lightly on Loki's lips, then leans in to press another kiss to her forehead and stays there. She doesn't know what to say, everything keeps getting lost...but maybe she doesn't need to.
Wanda reaches for Loki's mind again, but this time she lets some of her emotions filter through. No, Loki is definitely wanted, jagged edges and broken parts and all. Wanda's just afraid that this is the trauma talking, or that if Loki knew what she could really do that she would be afraid of her. Above all, she just...wants Loki to be happy, whatever that looks like. The wish is almost childlike in its purity, but then again, the twins are only here because they thought they could become heroes.
"You are enough," she murmurs against Loki's skin, and echoes of a fledging love and concern and need to protect ripple through their link. "There is nothing to apologize for."
Loki stills when Wanda's fingertips find her lips. She barely even breaths as she processes what's happening. It's comfort, yes, and more than that, it's not denial. It's not a punishment or a breaking of what fragile kindness she's gotten so far.
She reaches out with everything she has, physically and mentally clinging on as much as she can. Yes, it may be the trauma speaking, at least a little, but part of this is Loki's strong desire to have someone to trust again, someone she can depend on and who can depend on her. She wants to be more than a tool, she wants to feel like more than something to be torn and broken down and made to do what is instructed of her.
She nods, picking her head up, her mouth finding Wanda's once again, this time a little more sure than before. "Light," she whispers her voice sounding like a confession. "Light in the dark. But not firelight, never firelight, more like...Like sun. Warm and promising you'll survive. We'll survive. We'll keep going."
Wanda holds her close as they kiss, simple happiness singing through the link. The three of them are trapped here, but at least none of them have to be alone anymore. She and Pietro have each other, and she and Loki...well...
Is it too early to call it love? There's something special between them, whatever it is, and maybe trying to fight it would be cruelty to them both. Loki could still wake up one day and feel better and decide Wanda's something horrifying to her, but for now...they need this. Wanda can give her a port in the storm if Loki can help her feel less like a living weapon. "We're all right," she repeats, nuzzling closer. "Take what you need. I'm here."
"You too," she mumbles, picking her head up to catch Wanda's eye. "Take what you can. Use it. I want--" She pauses for a moment, trying to figure out what it is exactly she's trying to say.
"I want to be good to you," Loki finally says. "I want to give you light too."
She settles back in again, closing her eyes once more and listens to the sound of Wanda breathing, of her own heartbeat, and revels in the momentary peace.
Something in her brain is telling her it won't last, so she should enjoy it while she can.
"You already do," Wanda whispers. Just her presence is comforting, like the warmth of a fireplace (though she probably shouldn't use that analogy when it seems like fire frightens Loki).
They fall into a comfortable silence as Wanda relishes in the weight of Loki in her arms. She keeps a rhythmic pace stroking up and down Loki's back, punctuated with the occasional forehead kiss, but just as it seems like she might be able to drift off the door opens.
Wanda's quick to shift her hold on Loki to a protective one, although the scientist makes no move to enter the room. "Will you be staying here tonight, Miss Maximoff?" he asks, voice surprisingly steady for someone who feels so nervous. Does she really look like she's going to eviscerate him for disturbing them?
(Maybe a little.)
They know. Wanda knew they would, but the speed of their response is a little worrying. And to Pietro it will look like they took her away and didn't bring her back - surely they have some purpose for that too. But as she looks at the woman in her arms, she knows there's only one answer. "Yes," she says. "I will stay."
Loki tenses as the door opens, her eyes going wide and her body stiff. She knew, she knew with everything inside her that this would not last. It was impossible for her to keep good things, they just slipped through her fingers.
Even so, she shifts a little, putting herself more in front of Wanda in a way that might make it at least slightly more difficult for them to take her away. If she wanted to go of her own volition, that was one thing, but no one should be able to drag her away without a fight.
But then they're talking and if Loki had been standing, she would have gone weak at the knees.
"You don't have to," she whispers. "You can go, go where you need to go. Go with your brother again." She doesn't know if she herself has siblings but she feels like, if she did, she'd want to be near them if they were all stuck in this place. "Just try and come back one day."
Wanda can't help but be struck by how pure Loki is despite whatever nightmare she's gone through to end up here. Mere moments ago she was begging Wanda to stay and now...
"Hush," she whispers, again laying her finger on Loki's lips. "It's all right. I can stay tonight." She can reach out to Pietro to reassure him that she's okay, and besides, Strucker won't let the twins in the same room yet. 'For their protection,' he tells them, but they could never hurt each other, no matter how tenuous their control over their newfound powers. He's afraid of them, he just thinks Wanda can't see it if he tries to project an air of sincere concern.
So go back to sit in a cold cell by herself, or stay here with someone who needs her where she can be warm and held through the night? It's really not much of a choice.
The man mutters something about getting their dinner and leaves and Wanda lets go of a breath she hadn't realized she was holding and curls into Loki. She saw how the other woman had tried to shield her. Oh, Loki...Wanda can only imagine the terrible things that must have happened to her to make her like this.
Loki just wants good things for the few good people in her life, that's it. Everything else doesn't matter. She's learned that it doesn't make a difference what you do, if you can't give the good to those who deserve and need it. There's no point in trying to keep out the things that might make someone happy and healthy and she honestly believes that Wanda would be better off with her brother, even if it did mean Loki would be alone.
She's used to being alone, she can go it again. Besides, she's not actually alone, not really, there's the things in the dark, the things that shift inside her mind, hungry and fierce.
"Tonight," she echoes, nodding her head and resting against Wanda once again. "Tomorrow is another day. No one knows what tomorrow has yet."
Which is to say that Loki doesn't expect this to last but if she can have tonight, she'll grab it with both hands.
The mention of food makes her grow a little pale. The idea of eating makes her insides perk up and feel sick all at once. She's had trouble keeping down food and when she has been able to eat, it's not been much or anything of real quality. However, the idea of food still makes her stomach growl in eager anticipation.
Eldritch abominations don't count as company, Loki. But for now, Wanda's going to keep her as safe as she can. "You have me now," she says, tenderly tucking a stray piece of hair behind Loki's ear. "I don't want to think about tomorrow." They're still in no position to escape yet, even though Wanda's always looking for an opening, and training is...sometimes difficult.
One day, all of this will be worth it. They'll be able to fix Sokovia and keep their people safe from people like Strucker and Stark. But until then, all they can do is endure as best as they can.
The man comes back ten minutes later with their dinners: simple fare, but enough to keep them well-fed. The bar is very low here, but at least they can count on three decent meals a day. HYDRA isn't starving them - bad for their plans. How can the twins fight if they're weak from hunger? "It doesn't look terrible?" Wanda says with a small smile after he leaves. But she could definitely do better.
Loki sits up, shaking a little with anticipation. Her body is still adjusting to a number of things, one of which is getting a steady diet again and the other is the quality of food this planet has.
(It's not that Odin was trying to starve her, she wouldn't be useful if she were unable to work, but between Loki forgetting to eat and Odin not making food a main priority --and occasionally just going for something like IV fluids when Loki wouldn't eat or it had been too long --, she did not eat as often as she probably should have.)
Loki reaches out, picking up a piece of bread and tearing it into pieces, eating it bit by bit. She's trying not to eat fast but her hands are moving with more urgency than she actually notices.
For half a second,s he almost forgets Wanda is even there, her brain singing with the idea of putting food inside her that might stay down this time.
On one hand, beggars (quite literally, in some darker parts of their lives) can't be choosers. On the other hand, whenever they've had means, Wanda's done her best to keep herself and Pietro eating decently. This isn't the worst food she's had, but the bread's on the dry side by her standards and the pasta sauce is just kind of there. Wasted opportunity, if you ask her. Learn to use spices, gosh.
Loki, however, is eating as if it's been quite a while since the last time she had food. Wanda's brow furrows in concern. "Did you eat today?" she asks softly. It's not a criticism - Wanda's just concerned that maybe the full meal they've brought Loki is a show they're putting on for her.
Loki nods. She'd tried eating before, she really had but it only ended in her stomach churning until she was ill in a corner. A part of her is hoping that if she eats in smaller bites, she won't be quite as prone to making herself sick.
"Food," she says around a mouthful of bread. "Doesn't like me as much as I like it." She offers a small, apologetic smile. "I try to keep it down but it doesn't stay."
Then she's handing Wanda the other piece of bread. "But maybe this time will be different?" There's just a tinge of hope in her voice when she says it. "Maybe things will behave."
"You sound like my brother," Wanda says with a small laugh (because if she doesn't laugh, she'll be paralyzed with how helpless they still are). "Is it the medicine? They gave us something so our powers wouldn't be so hard to control but our stomachs didn't like it."
She takes the bread and allows herself a small bite. Wanda's still on a lower dosage of the medication, so she knows if she tries to stuff herself all at once there's a decent chance that food can still make her sick. "Maybe that's why the sauce is so bland. I hope one day I can make real food for you."
Loki shrugs. They'd been trying to test things on her, see what she reacts to, once they realized she wasn't human but most of it just left her dizzy and tired. Sometimes worse things would happen, she'd get ill or the things in her mind would stir a little more than normal but she tried not to think abut that.
She honestly spends a lot of her time trying not to think at all.
Loki tilts her head at Wanda, a small smile on her lips. "Do you like it? Making food, I mean."
It's a simple question but Loki finds herself genuinely curious about the answer. She wants to know what Wanda likes, the things that bring her joy.
Wanda grins, perking up in a way she hasn't since she stepped through the door. "I like baking best, but all cooking is relaxing. And if I didn't, my brother would have us living on pizza and fast food." She laughs - some of her proudest moments are the times she's gotten him to eat his vegetables and like it.
But speaking of Pietro...as Wanda takes another bite of the bread, she reaches out for his mind with a reassuring touch. She's fine, he doesn't need to worry, she'll tell him all about it tomorrow.
"What kinds of foods do you like?" she asks with a smile. "I wouldn't mind cooking for the rest of them if we could have something better."
Loki smiles back, pleased to have somehow found a good topic of conversation. Food, like a lot of things, isn't something she thinks about too often. She knows it's something she needs but she doesn't derive a lot of pleasure from it most of the time.
However, that has a lot more to do with circumstance than anything else.
"I don't--" She starts, a little uncertainly. "I don't remember." Loki looks down at the food before her, sliding the last bit of bread through the sauce before nibbling at it. "I'll try things though?" She looks hopeful. "Especially if you make it."
Wanda just grins. It's sad that Loki can't remember what kinds of things she likes to eat, but that means that Wanda gets to reintroduce her to the simple pleasure of a good meal. Once they get out of here, she can at least help Loki make some better memories even if she can't undo whatever happened to her. "We will find something you like. I promise it will taste better than this."
Despite their circumstances, she can't help but start making plans: snickerdoodle cookies, maybe? Loki seems like a snickerdoodle person. Or she could start with a cake roll. Or maybe paprikash for something savory...
She's probably getting a little ahead of herself, but it's nice to talk about a happier future for once. It makes Wanda feel more like a normal person again, like there will still be something left of her when they've taken Sokovia back. "Do you think you like sweet or savory foods more?"
"Could you?" She sounds a little surprised, prodding lightly at the food with her fork as she speaks. "That sounds...Amazing." She can't help the smile that blossoms on her face. "You making it, I mean. You can create something so useful and good, that is...It's a gift."
She considers for a long moment, unsure of what to say at first. She likes the idea of sweetness on her tongue, the taste hitting her and waking her up, stirring up energy and sending it racing through her.
"Sweet," she announces, looking at Wanda to somehow mak sure it was a proper answer. "I think sweet is nice."
Wanda flushes and looks down at her dinner. Such praise before Loki's even tasted her food! She really has a lot of faith in her. "It's not so hard. Anyone can learn if they have enough patience."
She takes a bite of the pasta, then glances back up at Loki a little shyly. This is different from baking for Pietro or offering to make something for their friends. Wanda can think of so many possibilities and she desperately wants Loki to like something. "We can start with something small, like cookies. You can help if you want?"
Loki nods in understanding. "Patience can help you accomplish a lot." She smiles, scooping up a bit of pasta with her fork and taking a bite.
Something about the sauce is making her stomach start to turn a little and she closes her eyes, trying to concentrate on Wanda's words, rather than the feeling of nausea inside her.
"I'd like that," she says softly. "I want to help."
Wanda puts down her bread and reaches for Loki's hand. She's not sure exactly what's wrong this time, but at least Loki's still able to talk? That's always a good sign.
"I'm here. You're all right," she says softly, squeezing her hand. "Try to focus on breathing, slowly."
Wanda reaches out another tendril of thought and-- oh. Another impending disagreement with her food, apparently. "Do you want some water?" That might help...or it might make it worse, Wanda's not sure.
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She wants this more than she's wanted anything in what feels like forever. Wanda makes her feel a little closer to being a person, a little closer to being safe. She wants to belong to this woman, to be claimed and cared for and do what she can in return to earn that. She doesn't know what she can do to help but anything Wanda wants, Loki will move stars to give it to her.
At least, she'll try. She'll try until there's nothing left of hero to make the effort. She'll try until the universe is sweeping up the dust she had come from.
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"You don't need to prove anything," she tells her kindly, lightly stroking her cheek. "You're enough. Because you're my friend." Although 'friend' really may not be the right word anymore...
She wishes she could help her understand, wishes there was anything at all she could do to make this better or make the person responsible pay. Every protective instinct she has is screaming at her to do whatever it takes to soothe the hurt she can feel in Loki's mind and yet...she has to be know that this isn't just the trauma speaking. "I only want you to be sure."
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After all, she's asking her to take on a lot. She's asking to be taken with her jagged edges and broken parts and yet, this woman who she barely knows isn't actually turning her away, at least not outright.
Shit, is she terrible for this?
Loki swallows, sucking in a breath through clenched teeth. "I'm sorry," she finally says. "I'm sorry, I'm not trying to--" But she has no idea what she wanted to say there.
"You're my friend," she finally offers. "That can be enough? maybe? We can make it be enough."
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Really, she can't be blamed for resorting to desperate measures.
She rests one finger lightly on Loki's lips, then leans in to press another kiss to her forehead and stays there. She doesn't know what to say, everything keeps getting lost...but maybe she doesn't need to.
Wanda reaches for Loki's mind again, but this time she lets some of her emotions filter through. No, Loki is definitely wanted, jagged edges and broken parts and all. Wanda's just afraid that this is the trauma talking, or that if Loki knew what she could really do that she would be afraid of her. Above all, she just...wants Loki to be happy, whatever that looks like. The wish is almost childlike in its purity, but then again, the twins are only here because they thought they could become heroes.
"You are enough," she murmurs against Loki's skin, and echoes of a fledging love and concern and need to protect ripple through their link. "There is nothing to apologize for."
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She reaches out with everything she has, physically and mentally clinging on as much as she can. Yes, it may be the trauma speaking, at least a little, but part of this is Loki's strong desire to have someone to trust again, someone she can depend on and who can depend on her. She wants to be more than a tool, she wants to feel like more than something to be torn and broken down and made to do what is instructed of her.
She nods, picking her head up, her mouth finding Wanda's once again, this time a little more sure than before. "Light," she whispers her voice sounding like a confession. "Light in the dark. But not firelight, never firelight, more like...Like sun. Warm and promising you'll survive. We'll survive. We'll keep going."
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Is it too early to call it love? There's something special between them, whatever it is, and maybe trying to fight it would be cruelty to them both. Loki could still wake up one day and feel better and decide Wanda's something horrifying to her, but for now...they need this. Wanda can give her a port in the storm if Loki can help her feel less like a living weapon. "We're all right," she repeats, nuzzling closer. "Take what you need. I'm here."
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"I want to be good to you," Loki finally says. "I want to give you light too."
She settles back in again, closing her eyes once more and listens to the sound of Wanda breathing, of her own heartbeat, and revels in the momentary peace.
Something in her brain is telling her it won't last, so she should enjoy it while she can.
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They fall into a comfortable silence as Wanda relishes in the weight of Loki in her arms. She keeps a rhythmic pace stroking up and down Loki's back, punctuated with the occasional forehead kiss, but just as it seems like she might be able to drift off the door opens.
Wanda's quick to shift her hold on Loki to a protective one, although the scientist makes no move to enter the room. "Will you be staying here tonight, Miss Maximoff?" he asks, voice surprisingly steady for someone who feels so nervous. Does she really look like she's going to eviscerate him for disturbing them?
(Maybe a little.)
They know. Wanda knew they would, but the speed of their response is a little worrying. And to Pietro it will look like they took her away and didn't bring her back - surely they have some purpose for that too. But as she looks at the woman in her arms, she knows there's only one answer. "Yes," she says. "I will stay."
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Even so, she shifts a little, putting herself more in front of Wanda in a way that might make it at least slightly more difficult for them to take her away. If she wanted to go of her own volition, that was one thing, but no one should be able to drag her away without a fight.
But then they're talking and if Loki had been standing, she would have gone weak at the knees.
"You don't have to," she whispers. "You can go, go where you need to go. Go with your brother again." She doesn't know if she herself has siblings but she feels like, if she did, she'd want to be near them if they were all stuck in this place. "Just try and come back one day."
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"Hush," she whispers, again laying her finger on Loki's lips. "It's all right. I can stay tonight." She can reach out to Pietro to reassure him that she's okay, and besides, Strucker won't let the twins in the same room yet. 'For their protection,' he tells them, but they could never hurt each other, no matter how tenuous their control over their newfound powers. He's afraid of them, he just thinks Wanda can't see it if he tries to project an air of sincere concern.
So go back to sit in a cold cell by herself, or stay here with someone who needs her where she can be warm and held through the night? It's really not much of a choice.
The man mutters something about getting their dinner and leaves and Wanda lets go of a breath she hadn't realized she was holding and curls into Loki. She saw how the other woman had tried to shield her. Oh, Loki...Wanda can only imagine the terrible things that must have happened to her to make her like this.
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She's used to being alone, she can go it again. Besides, she's not actually alone, not really, there's the things in the dark, the things that shift inside her mind, hungry and fierce.
"Tonight," she echoes, nodding her head and resting against Wanda once again. "Tomorrow is another day. No one knows what tomorrow has yet."
Which is to say that Loki doesn't expect this to last but if she can have tonight, she'll grab it with both hands.
The mention of food makes her grow a little pale. The idea of eating makes her insides perk up and feel sick all at once. She's had trouble keeping down food and when she has been able to eat, it's not been much or anything of real quality. However, the idea of food still makes her stomach growl in eager anticipation.
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One day, all of this will be worth it. They'll be able to fix Sokovia and keep their people safe from people like Strucker and Stark. But until then, all they can do is endure as best as they can.
The man comes back ten minutes later with their dinners: simple fare, but enough to keep them well-fed. The bar is very low here, but at least they can count on three decent meals a day. HYDRA isn't starving them - bad for their plans. How can the twins fight if they're weak from hunger? "It doesn't look terrible?" Wanda says with a small smile after he leaves. But she could definitely do better.
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(It's not that Odin was trying to starve her, she wouldn't be useful if she were unable to work, but between Loki forgetting to eat and Odin not making food a main priority --and occasionally just going for something like IV fluids when Loki wouldn't eat or it had been too long --, she did not eat as often as she probably should have.)
Loki reaches out, picking up a piece of bread and tearing it into pieces, eating it bit by bit. She's trying not to eat fast but her hands are moving with more urgency than she actually notices.
For half a second,s he almost forgets Wanda is even there, her brain singing with the idea of putting food inside her that might stay down this time.
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Loki, however, is eating as if it's been quite a while since the last time she had food. Wanda's brow furrows in concern. "Did you eat today?" she asks softly. It's not a criticism - Wanda's just concerned that maybe the full meal they've brought Loki is a show they're putting on for her.
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"Food," she says around a mouthful of bread. "Doesn't like me as much as I like it." She offers a small, apologetic smile. "I try to keep it down but it doesn't stay."
Then she's handing Wanda the other piece of bread. "But maybe this time will be different?" There's just a tinge of hope in her voice when she says it. "Maybe things will behave."
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She takes the bread and allows herself a small bite. Wanda's still on a lower dosage of the medication, so she knows if she tries to stuff herself all at once there's a decent chance that food can still make her sick. "Maybe that's why the sauce is so bland. I hope one day I can make real food for you."
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She honestly spends a lot of her time trying not to think at all.
Loki tilts her head at Wanda, a small smile on her lips. "Do you like it? Making food, I mean."
It's a simple question but Loki finds herself genuinely curious about the answer. She wants to know what Wanda likes, the things that bring her joy.
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But speaking of Pietro...as Wanda takes another bite of the bread, she reaches out for his mind with a reassuring touch. She's fine, he doesn't need to worry, she'll tell him all about it tomorrow.
"What kinds of foods do you like?" she asks with a smile. "I wouldn't mind cooking for the rest of them if we could have something better."
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However, that has a lot more to do with circumstance than anything else.
"I don't--" She starts, a little uncertainly. "I don't remember." Loki looks down at the food before her, sliding the last bit of bread through the sauce before nibbling at it. "I'll try things though?" She looks hopeful. "Especially if you make it."
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Despite their circumstances, she can't help but start making plans: snickerdoodle cookies, maybe? Loki seems like a snickerdoodle person. Or she could start with a cake roll. Or maybe paprikash for something savory...
She's probably getting a little ahead of herself, but it's nice to talk about a happier future for once. It makes Wanda feel more like a normal person again, like there will still be something left of her when they've taken Sokovia back. "Do you think you like sweet or savory foods more?"
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She considers for a long moment, unsure of what to say at first. She likes the idea of sweetness on her tongue, the taste hitting her and waking her up, stirring up energy and sending it racing through her.
"Sweet," she announces, looking at Wanda to somehow mak sure it was a proper answer. "I think sweet is nice."
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She takes a bite of the pasta, then glances back up at Loki a little shyly. This is different from baking for Pietro or offering to make something for their friends. Wanda can think of so many possibilities and she desperately wants Loki to like something. "We can start with something small, like cookies. You can help if you want?"
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Something about the sauce is making her stomach start to turn a little and she closes her eyes, trying to concentrate on Wanda's words, rather than the feeling of nausea inside her.
"I'd like that," she says softly. "I want to help."
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"I'm here. You're all right," she says softly, squeezing her hand. "Try to focus on breathing, slowly."
Wanda reaches out another tendril of thought and-- oh. Another impending disagreement with her food, apparently. "Do you want some water?" That might help...or it might make it worse, Wanda's not sure.
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It's not unexpected, the reaction tot the food, but having someone here to help is making it feel much less awful than it has been since she arrived.
"I'm sorry," she mumbles, after taking a sip of the water. "I just don't think the food cares for me."
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