It's the music that does it, the strange, pretty noise that comes from the woman that soothes Loki enough to look up at her, Study her face and let herself relax enough to trust what she's seeing. Her own mind doesn't sing to her, not in this way. IF this is a trick, it's fromt he people keeping her here, not anything else.
But she says she's not with them, she says she's protection as much as she is power. Loki isn't sure she can trust her but she also knows there's not much she can put faith into right now and if this stranger is extending reassurance, she might just be desperate enough to snatch at it.
Inching a little closer, she looks at her with a confused expression. "I don't know you." It's said softly, and one of her hands reaches out, touching her fingertips to the woman's skin. "But I can? Can I know you? Can we be friends? Please?" There's a hint of desperation there, a pleading, scared tone that she doesn't even notice. She's just hoping this can be something good, something she can cling onto in this strange place with these people and their terrible ways.
It's only when Loki actually looks at her for real that Wanda realizes how beautiful she is. Sure, they're both not the cleanest they've ever been, but it's more than simple physical attraction. Beautiful minds are in as short of a supply as you'd expect in a HYDRA base. There's a lot of darkness and sharp edges in Loki's mind, true, but her core - that part of her mind is untouched and strong and the most beautiful thing Wanda's ever seen in another's head. It's the refusal to give in that makes her so beautiful. A kindred spirit to the twins, in a way.
"Yes," Wanda answers softly, carefully covering Loki's hand with her own. "I'd like to have a friend here." She will have to be delicate in her actions and whatever she tells Strucker, but if she insists that whatever he wants from this woman's head is impossible to find, how would he know any differently?
She couldn't save the others. She can't even tell Pietro who their new 'friends' really are. But maybe, just maybe, she can be enough to shield this woman from further harm. "Who are you? What have they done to you?"
She slumps a little, leaning heavily against Wanda for a moment, her eyes closed, her breathing slower. A friend, the thought sends a relief through her entire body. SH doesn't remember how long its been since she had a friend and the idea that she might have found one almost makes her start crying with relief.
"I don't--" She shakes her head. "i didn't matter. I didn't need to know. I don't...I don't get that. Not anymore. I don't get it. The mirrors are broken and there's just glass left. Too many pieces, not enough person." Loki is starting to shake a little, biting down on her lower lip to keep from crying out. She doesn't want to scare off the new friend.
"So many people, too many. Passing through and playing with what they have. Trying to get me play with them. make things. I should be building. I can make a world, you know. Bleed into the metal and create something new. Give them what they want..." She's shaking her had, pulling away again. This isn't right, she's not making sense. She's going to break her new friend.
"I'm sorry," she whispers into her knees. "I'm trying..."
Wanda remembers that Pietro had been frightened when she woke up after the experiments, not because of her powers but because nothing she said made any sense to him at all. They' had to sedate her to get her to stop babbling secrets and nonsense and stay in her own head until she learned to control it. She doesn't think that's quite what happened here, not when there's no trace of the Mind Stone in Loki's thoughts, but it's certainly not going to scare her off.
"Can I hug you?" she asks softly. "I know how that feels, but you don't need to build anything right now or play with anyone." That may be why she's here but Wanda's had quite enough of 'playing,' thank you, and she has no intention of giving Strucker what he wants, cameras be damned. "What's your name?"
Loki nods, leaning in a little more and forcing herself to keep an even
breathing pattern. She's nice, she feels kind and warm and like she might
be a kind of safety in this strange place. Maybe she's wrong, maybe she'll
turn out to be something terrible but Loki is so tired of being afraid.
She's going to let herself take a little comfort, just this once.
"My name," she says, trying to remember. "I--.." She shakes her head.
"It's lost. I'll get it back, give me some time. I promise i"ll tell you
as soon as I know. I just have to force it out again. Force it to stay in
the light long enough for me to say."
Then she stills for a long moment, going very quiet, hardly even breathing.
"Loki," she whispers, looking at Wanda to make sure she's somehow got it
right. "I was Loki once. Now I"m not supposed to be anything."
She's so afraid, so terrified that Wanda is going to be angry with her (and...what? Hurt her?) that it makes the witch's heart twist in sympathy. She does not know what to do other than rub soothing circles on Loki's back and start humming again when the other woman goes quiet.
"I am not going to be angry with you," she murmurs, trying to encourage Loki to rest her head on her shoulder. "You're my friend." And maybe, if nothing else, Wanda can get through to her that there are others here in a similar position who don't want to hurt her. She could search her memories for a name...but something so intrusive feels like an inexcusable violation. Someone like Wanda was here before, that much is obvious. Whatever happens, she doesn't want to make it worse.
Fortunately, the other woman's able to piece enough memory fragments together to come up with a name before things get awkward. "Loki," Wanda repeats in a hushed tone. It rolls so easily off the tongue - a pretty name for a pretty person. Her mind feels different from everyone else's, even Pietro's, but it seems to just be a coincidence who she shares a name with. Wanda's absolutely sure this isn't the same person who previously owned the Scepter. "You can be Loki again. Our secret. It doesn't matter what they want."
Loki doesn't want to be afraid, she's so tired of fear being the main thing in her head but it's hard. She doesn't remember not being afraid, not having to do what she's supposed to or face the consequences. Even here, there a re things they want from her but she just doesn't know hot to give it to them.
"Friend," she echoes. "Right. We're friends." She moves, settling herself against Wanda, her eyes closing tight. Loki reaches out, taking Wanda's hand in hers and holding on, as if somehow that alone would make this better, as if she could find freedom in the grasping.
"She burned," Loki whispers. "There was too much fire, too much heat and she should be dead." Loki shakes her head, pressing herself against Wanda even more. "I'm not real anymore," she tells her. "I'm not supposed to exist, just the things--The things that live inside, information and knowing and the building of the thing."
She wants to say that no one's going to do that to her again, but who is she kidding? Wanda can't even get them out of here. She's in no position to protect anyone beyond the little ways she disobeys their captors. All she can do is squeeze Loki's hand back and hold her as long as she needs. Letting Pietro go to her is the most effective non-chemical way to ground Wanda when her psychic senses get overwhelmed. Loki's not suffering the same affliction, but maybe it will help anyway.
It's not as if she minds - the room is cold and Loki is pleasantly warm. Wanda shifts to lean against the wall and rest her head against Loki's. There, not great but better. Were she more used to her powers, she might call the blanket to them.
"You are real. I feel you here," she insists, squeezing Loki's hand, "and here." Wanda lightly taps Loki's forehead. "You and my brother have the most beautiful minds in this castle. I don't need you to build anything. I just want you to be my friend."
She doesn't say anything for a long moment, just sits there, curled against her new friend. This is good. Nothing else here feels like it is but this moment is something she wants to keep. A friend, a kindness, a warmth keeping the world at bay, rather than making it crash inwards.
"You have a brother?" She smiles a little. "I'm glad he's good, you should have good things. You should have so much good."
Her fingers reach out carefully tracing Wanda's cheek, then she moves, carefully pressing the lightest kiss where her fingertips had been. "Good things for a good friend."
Wanda closes her eyes and leans into the touches and the kiss. It's...nice, and without really thinking about what she's doing Wanda presses a light, chaste kiss to Loki's temple.
What is it about her that draws Wanda in? Is it the silvery light of her mind? Her strength in the face of her struggles? Or something else? She's not sure, but it's more than a simple desire to protect Loki or give her a place to heal from whatever's been done to her. Because if Loki tried to kiss her again, Wanda knows without a doubt that she'd allow it.
(No, that's still not quite right. She'd welcome it.)
"My twin brother. His name is Pietro," she murmurs as she tries a light caress of Loki's hair to see if she likes it. "He's like us. They brought us here to 'play,' too."
She closes her eyes at the brush of Wanda's lips against her skin. A soft hum comes from her, an echo of the tune the other woman had been singing earlier. Loki isn't entirely sure how to make the words going through her head but she knows that music is good, that music can clear the head and wake the body and makes things feel that much better.
So she gives her lovely friend music.
"Is he as good as you?" she asks, breathing out a sigh. "is it in the blood?" Her mind wants to spiral, to get distracted with the taste of blood on her tongue, the feeling of it falling from her fingertips, even though she's not actually bleeding.
Sometimes reality is a fickle thing for Loki. Sometimes she loses track of what's there and what is stirring inside her own mind.
For a moment they hum together, clinging to each other, and it's almost as if this isn't some sort of living nightmare. Wanda lets her eyes fall closed and sighs. As much as she hates the conditions they're all being held in, it's comforting to know they have another friend here.
Wanda almost drifts into a comfortable haze, but she feels the shadows shift again, the phantom taste of copper on her tongue. Blood. Her eyes fly open and she gently cups Loki's cheek in an attempt to bring her back. "Loki? No one's hurt anymore. We're fine."
She's got a far away look on her face, her eyes a little glazed over. There are voices in the distance, she can hear them whispering words of reassurance, but she can't quite grasp them. All she can really concentrate on is blood, blood, blood.
But no, there's more than that. Not much bu there's a touch, and the voice again and she knows it might be lying, knows that there could be so much more pain and bleeding but it says otherwise.
We're fine.
"We're fine," Loki makes her mouth form the words, though she can't quite push sound out. Still, it's just enough to make her eyes focus in again, looking at Wanda with a hesitant expression.
"We're fine," Wanda affirms, pressing another kiss to Loki's temple because she doesn't know what else to do. It seemed to soothe her last time. "As fine as we can be."
Fine until the scientists make her leave, anyway, but until then she'll do what she can to calm Loki's troubled mind. Maybe, if they let her come back, she can start working out what's actually happened to Loki and see if there's any way her powers can help. What good is overcoming the Mind Stone if she can't help with something like this?
"Stay with me? Try to focus on what you feel," she murmurs, hugging Loki a little tighter in a mirror of how Pietro comforts her when she gets too lost in everyone else's minds. "I'm right here."
Loki relaxes a little, her body slowly starting to lose the tension that had struck her. Her fingers find Wanda's hand again, holding on as she lets her breathing slow down and her mind get lost in the physical sensations of Wanda around her, rather than the ghosts of blood and pain that keep trying to rise up again.
She's not very good at thinking of the future, of what happens when Wanda leaves, of what she will be returning to. It's hard to even remember there's more to the world than the two of them. This? It feels like everything.
"Stay," she says, echoing the word and trying it out on her tongue all at once. "Stay with me." Then she's nodding, nuzzling at Wanda and wrapping her arm around the other woman, holding on as if somehow she could pull them both out of here if she just held on long enough.
"Stay," she says again. "I'll stay if you stay? Together, maybe?"
Wanda cradles her close and lets Loki cling to her as much as she needs. She's so warm and Wanda is so touch-starved that it's nice to be allowed the indulgence.
Little does she know that right now Strucker is working on a way to use this latest development - even if Wanda can't or won't give him what he wants, if they can convince Loki that SHIELD and the Avengers mean Wanda harm, that might be the incentive she needs to be more cooperative.
But for now Wanda returns the nuzzle and lets out a small sigh of contentment. "As long as I can. And even if I can't be here..."
It's just a hunch, but Loki's mind feels different enough that maybe she can sense a light psychic touch. It's not changing or whispering anything, it's just...there. Pietro can feel her, but whether that's their twin bond or residue of the Mind Stone is anyone's guess. "Do you feel that? I don't need to be here to stay with you."
Loki is hungry for it as well, the feeling of someone touching her, of the feeling of warmth and kindness and comfort. Just having that even for a few precious moments is so good, so wonderful she is almost dizzy with it.
The feeling of Wanda's presence in her mind isn't heavy, it's not thick and crushing and troubling. Wanda feels much more like a light blanket thrown over her. It's a promise and a reminder and she clings a little tighter because this feels so much better than the normal stirrings in her mind.
"Thank you," she whispers. She's not entirely sure what she's thanking Wanda for but she wants her to know she's grateful. Loki would give her something if she could but she has nothing here. So, she does what she can, hoping it would be enough.
She shifts just a little, gently brushing her lips against Wanda's, whispering as she does so. "I'll be yours. For whatever you need, I can belong to you."
She has nothing else to give, so she offers herself.
It's not that Wanda doesn't like the kiss, because she'd happily take more, but it feels a little like she's taking advantage of someone who's desperate for affection. This is different to anything she's ever felt before. It's impossible to deny the fundamental attraction between them, and although Wanda's never been one for casual flings, this is clearly something deeper.
She's read about love at first sight, but it had always seemed like a myth for children...
Carefully, like Loki's the most delicate treasure in the world, Wanda cups her cheek and presses another soft kiss to her forehead. "Is that what you want?"
Loki nods, eyes shutting at the gentle touch. "Yes? Yes. Yes, please?" There's a hitch in her voice, a pleasing that she doesn't even bother to try and hide. "Please?"
She wants this more than she's wanted anything in what feels like forever. Wanda makes her feel a little closer to being a person, a little closer to being safe. She wants to belong to this woman, to be claimed and cared for and do what she can in return to earn that. She doesn't know what she can do to help but anything Wanda wants, Loki will move stars to give it to her.
At least, she'll try. She'll try until there's nothing left of hero to make the effort. She'll try until the universe is sweeping up the dust she had come from.
Wanda's heart twists. Loki looks so hopeful that she can't bear to disappoint her, even if she's not entirely convinced that Loki isn't doing this just because she thinks it's what Wanda wants.
"You don't need to prove anything," she tells her kindly, lightly stroking her cheek. "You're enough. Because you're my friend." Although 'friend' really may not be the right word anymore...
She wishes she could help her understand, wishes there was anything at all she could do to make this better or make the person responsible pay. Every protective instinct she has is screaming at her to do whatever it takes to soothe the hurt she can feel in Loki's mind and yet...she has to be know that this isn't just the trauma speaking. "I only want you to be sure."
"I--" She hesitates for a long moment, not because she has doubts but because she's not sure if Wanda even wants her at this point. A part of her realizes this is something possibly more complicated than Loki initially thought and maybe jumping in head first, when they're both in this place might not be the best plan.
After all, she's asking her to take on a lot. She's asking to be taken with her jagged edges and broken parts and yet, this woman who she barely knows isn't actually turning her away, at least not outright.
Shit, is she terrible for this?
Loki swallows, sucking in a breath through clenched teeth. "I'm sorry," she finally says. "I'm sorry, I'm not trying to--" But she has no idea what she wanted to say there.
"You're my friend," she finally offers. "That can be enough? maybe? We can make it be enough."
Did she break something? It feels like she must have - Loki's fallen into those desperate apologies again and it hurts and she just wants to make it stop.
Really, she can't be blamed for resorting to desperate measures.
She rests one finger lightly on Loki's lips, then leans in to press another kiss to her forehead and stays there. She doesn't know what to say, everything keeps getting lost...but maybe she doesn't need to.
Wanda reaches for Loki's mind again, but this time she lets some of her emotions filter through. No, Loki is definitely wanted, jagged edges and broken parts and all. Wanda's just afraid that this is the trauma talking, or that if Loki knew what she could really do that she would be afraid of her. Above all, she just...wants Loki to be happy, whatever that looks like. The wish is almost childlike in its purity, but then again, the twins are only here because they thought they could become heroes.
"You are enough," she murmurs against Loki's skin, and echoes of a fledging love and concern and need to protect ripple through their link. "There is nothing to apologize for."
Loki stills when Wanda's fingertips find her lips. She barely even breaths as she processes what's happening. It's comfort, yes, and more than that, it's not denial. It's not a punishment or a breaking of what fragile kindness she's gotten so far.
She reaches out with everything she has, physically and mentally clinging on as much as she can. Yes, it may be the trauma speaking, at least a little, but part of this is Loki's strong desire to have someone to trust again, someone she can depend on and who can depend on her. She wants to be more than a tool, she wants to feel like more than something to be torn and broken down and made to do what is instructed of her.
She nods, picking her head up, her mouth finding Wanda's once again, this time a little more sure than before. "Light," she whispers her voice sounding like a confession. "Light in the dark. But not firelight, never firelight, more like...Like sun. Warm and promising you'll survive. We'll survive. We'll keep going."
Wanda holds her close as they kiss, simple happiness singing through the link. The three of them are trapped here, but at least none of them have to be alone anymore. She and Pietro have each other, and she and Loki...well...
Is it too early to call it love? There's something special between them, whatever it is, and maybe trying to fight it would be cruelty to them both. Loki could still wake up one day and feel better and decide Wanda's something horrifying to her, but for now...they need this. Wanda can give her a port in the storm if Loki can help her feel less like a living weapon. "We're all right," she repeats, nuzzling closer. "Take what you need. I'm here."
"You too," she mumbles, picking her head up to catch Wanda's eye. "Take what you can. Use it. I want--" She pauses for a moment, trying to figure out what it is exactly she's trying to say.
"I want to be good to you," Loki finally says. "I want to give you light too."
She settles back in again, closing her eyes once more and listens to the sound of Wanda breathing, of her own heartbeat, and revels in the momentary peace.
Something in her brain is telling her it won't last, so she should enjoy it while she can.
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But she says she's not with them, she says she's protection as much as she is power. Loki isn't sure she can trust her but she also knows there's not much she can put faith into right now and if this stranger is extending reassurance, she might just be desperate enough to snatch at it.
Inching a little closer, she looks at her with a confused expression. "I don't know you." It's said softly, and one of her hands reaches out, touching her fingertips to the woman's skin. "But I can? Can I know you? Can we be friends? Please?" There's a hint of desperation there, a pleading, scared tone that she doesn't even notice. She's just hoping this can be something good, something she can cling onto in this strange place with these people and their terrible ways.
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"Yes," Wanda answers softly, carefully covering Loki's hand with her own. "I'd like to have a friend here." She will have to be delicate in her actions and whatever she tells Strucker, but if she insists that whatever he wants from this woman's head is impossible to find, how would he know any differently?
She couldn't save the others. She can't even tell Pietro who their new 'friends' really are. But maybe, just maybe, she can be enough to shield this woman from further harm. "Who are you? What have they done to you?"
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"I don't--" She shakes her head. "i didn't matter. I didn't need to know. I don't...I don't get that. Not anymore. I don't get it. The mirrors are broken and there's just glass left. Too many pieces, not enough person." Loki is starting to shake a little, biting down on her lower lip to keep from crying out. She doesn't want to scare off the new friend.
"So many people, too many. Passing through and playing with what they have. Trying to get me play with them. make things. I should be building. I can make a world, you know. Bleed into the metal and create something new. Give them what they want..." She's shaking her had, pulling away again. This isn't right, she's not making sense. She's going to break her new friend.
"I'm sorry," she whispers into her knees. "I'm trying..."
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"Can I hug you?" she asks softly. "I know how that feels, but you don't need to build anything right now or play with anyone." That may be why she's here but Wanda's had quite enough of 'playing,' thank you, and she has no intention of giving Strucker what he wants, cameras be damned. "What's your name?"
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Loki nods, leaning in a little more and forcing herself to keep an even breathing pattern. She's nice, she feels kind and warm and like she might be a kind of safety in this strange place. Maybe she's wrong, maybe she'll turn out to be something terrible but Loki is so tired of being afraid. She's going to let herself take a little comfort, just this once.
"My name," she says, trying to remember. "I--.." She shakes her head. "It's lost. I'll get it back, give me some time. I promise i"ll tell you as soon as I know. I just have to force it out again. Force it to stay in the light long enough for me to say."
Then she stills for a long moment, going very quiet, hardly even breathing.
"Loki," she whispers, looking at Wanda to make sure she's somehow got it right. "I was Loki once. Now I"m not supposed to be anything."
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"I am not going to be angry with you," she murmurs, trying to encourage Loki to rest her head on her shoulder. "You're my friend." And maybe, if nothing else, Wanda can get through to her that there are others here in a similar position who don't want to hurt her. She could search her memories for a name...but something so intrusive feels like an inexcusable violation. Someone like Wanda was here before, that much is obvious. Whatever happens, she doesn't want to make it worse.
Fortunately, the other woman's able to piece enough memory fragments together to come up with a name before things get awkward. "Loki," Wanda repeats in a hushed tone. It rolls so easily off the tongue - a pretty name for a pretty person. Her mind feels different from everyone else's, even Pietro's, but it seems to just be a coincidence who she shares a name with. Wanda's absolutely sure this isn't the same person who previously owned the Scepter. "You can be Loki again. Our secret. It doesn't matter what they want."
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"Friend," she echoes. "Right. We're friends." She moves, settling herself against Wanda, her eyes closing tight. Loki reaches out, taking Wanda's hand in hers and holding on, as if somehow that alone would make this better, as if she could find freedom in the grasping.
"She burned," Loki whispers. "There was too much fire, too much heat and she should be dead." Loki shakes her head, pressing herself against Wanda even more. "I'm not real anymore," she tells her. "I'm not supposed to exist, just the things--The things that live inside, information and knowing and the building of the thing."
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It's not as if she minds - the room is cold and Loki is pleasantly warm. Wanda shifts to lean against the wall and rest her head against Loki's. There, not great but better. Were she more used to her powers, she might call the blanket to them.
"You are real. I feel you here," she insists, squeezing Loki's hand, "and here." Wanda lightly taps Loki's forehead. "You and my brother have the most beautiful minds in this castle. I don't need you to build anything. I just want you to be my friend."
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"You have a brother?" She smiles a little. "I'm glad he's good, you should have good things. You should have so much good."
Her fingers reach out carefully tracing Wanda's cheek, then she moves, carefully pressing the lightest kiss where her fingertips had been. "Good things for a good friend."
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What is it about her that draws Wanda in? Is it the silvery light of her mind? Her strength in the face of her struggles? Or something else? She's not sure, but it's more than a simple desire to protect Loki or give her a place to heal from whatever's been done to her. Because if Loki tried to kiss her again, Wanda knows without a doubt that she'd allow it.
(No, that's still not quite right. She'd welcome it.)
"My twin brother. His name is Pietro," she murmurs as she tries a light caress of Loki's hair to see if she likes it. "He's like us. They brought us here to 'play,' too."
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So she gives her lovely friend music.
"Is he as good as you?" she asks, breathing out a sigh. "is it in the blood?" Her mind wants to spiral, to get distracted with the taste of blood on her tongue, the feeling of it falling from her fingertips, even though she's not actually bleeding.
Sometimes reality is a fickle thing for Loki. Sometimes she loses track of what's there and what is stirring inside her own mind.
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Wanda almost drifts into a comfortable haze, but she feels the shadows shift again, the phantom taste of copper on her tongue. Blood. Her eyes fly open and she gently cups Loki's cheek in an attempt to bring her back. "Loki? No one's hurt anymore. We're fine."
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But no, there's more than that. Not much bu there's a touch, and the voice again and she knows it might be lying, knows that there could be so much more pain and bleeding but it says otherwise.
We're fine.
"We're fine," Loki makes her mouth form the words, though she can't quite push sound out. Still, it's just enough to make her eyes focus in again, looking at Wanda with a hesitant expression.
"We're fine?"
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Fine until the scientists make her leave, anyway, but until then she'll do what she can to calm Loki's troubled mind. Maybe, if they let her come back, she can start working out what's actually happened to Loki and see if there's any way her powers can help. What good is overcoming the Mind Stone if she can't help with something like this?
"Stay with me? Try to focus on what you feel," she murmurs, hugging Loki a little tighter in a mirror of how Pietro comforts her when she gets too lost in everyone else's minds. "I'm right here."
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She's not very good at thinking of the future, of what happens when Wanda leaves, of what she will be returning to. It's hard to even remember there's more to the world than the two of them. This? It feels like everything.
"Stay," she says, echoing the word and trying it out on her tongue all at once. "Stay with me." Then she's nodding, nuzzling at Wanda and wrapping her arm around the other woman, holding on as if somehow she could pull them both out of here if she just held on long enough.
"Stay," she says again. "I'll stay if you stay? Together, maybe?"
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Little does she know that right now Strucker is working on a way to use this latest development - even if Wanda can't or won't give him what he wants, if they can convince Loki that SHIELD and the Avengers mean Wanda harm, that might be the incentive she needs to be more cooperative.
But for now Wanda returns the nuzzle and lets out a small sigh of contentment. "As long as I can. And even if I can't be here..."
It's just a hunch, but Loki's mind feels different enough that maybe she can sense a light psychic touch. It's not changing or whispering anything, it's just...there. Pietro can feel her, but whether that's their twin bond or residue of the Mind Stone is anyone's guess. "Do you feel that? I don't need to be here to stay with you."
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The feeling of Wanda's presence in her mind isn't heavy, it's not thick and crushing and troubling. Wanda feels much more like a light blanket thrown over her. It's a promise and a reminder and she clings a little tighter because this feels so much better than the normal stirrings in her mind.
"Thank you," she whispers. She's not entirely sure what she's thanking Wanda for but she wants her to know she's grateful. Loki would give her something if she could but she has nothing here. So, she does what she can, hoping it would be enough.
She shifts just a little, gently brushing her lips against Wanda's, whispering as she does so. "I'll be yours. For whatever you need, I can belong to you."
She has nothing else to give, so she offers herself.
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She's read about love at first sight, but it had always seemed like a myth for children...
Carefully, like Loki's the most delicate treasure in the world, Wanda cups her cheek and presses another soft kiss to her forehead. "Is that what you want?"
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She wants this more than she's wanted anything in what feels like forever. Wanda makes her feel a little closer to being a person, a little closer to being safe. She wants to belong to this woman, to be claimed and cared for and do what she can in return to earn that. She doesn't know what she can do to help but anything Wanda wants, Loki will move stars to give it to her.
At least, she'll try. She'll try until there's nothing left of hero to make the effort. She'll try until the universe is sweeping up the dust she had come from.
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"You don't need to prove anything," she tells her kindly, lightly stroking her cheek. "You're enough. Because you're my friend." Although 'friend' really may not be the right word anymore...
She wishes she could help her understand, wishes there was anything at all she could do to make this better or make the person responsible pay. Every protective instinct she has is screaming at her to do whatever it takes to soothe the hurt she can feel in Loki's mind and yet...she has to be know that this isn't just the trauma speaking. "I only want you to be sure."
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After all, she's asking her to take on a lot. She's asking to be taken with her jagged edges and broken parts and yet, this woman who she barely knows isn't actually turning her away, at least not outright.
Shit, is she terrible for this?
Loki swallows, sucking in a breath through clenched teeth. "I'm sorry," she finally says. "I'm sorry, I'm not trying to--" But she has no idea what she wanted to say there.
"You're my friend," she finally offers. "That can be enough? maybe? We can make it be enough."
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Really, she can't be blamed for resorting to desperate measures.
She rests one finger lightly on Loki's lips, then leans in to press another kiss to her forehead and stays there. She doesn't know what to say, everything keeps getting lost...but maybe she doesn't need to.
Wanda reaches for Loki's mind again, but this time she lets some of her emotions filter through. No, Loki is definitely wanted, jagged edges and broken parts and all. Wanda's just afraid that this is the trauma talking, or that if Loki knew what she could really do that she would be afraid of her. Above all, she just...wants Loki to be happy, whatever that looks like. The wish is almost childlike in its purity, but then again, the twins are only here because they thought they could become heroes.
"You are enough," she murmurs against Loki's skin, and echoes of a fledging love and concern and need to protect ripple through their link. "There is nothing to apologize for."
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She reaches out with everything she has, physically and mentally clinging on as much as she can. Yes, it may be the trauma speaking, at least a little, but part of this is Loki's strong desire to have someone to trust again, someone she can depend on and who can depend on her. She wants to be more than a tool, she wants to feel like more than something to be torn and broken down and made to do what is instructed of her.
She nods, picking her head up, her mouth finding Wanda's once again, this time a little more sure than before. "Light," she whispers her voice sounding like a confession. "Light in the dark. But not firelight, never firelight, more like...Like sun. Warm and promising you'll survive. We'll survive. We'll keep going."
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Is it too early to call it love? There's something special between them, whatever it is, and maybe trying to fight it would be cruelty to them both. Loki could still wake up one day and feel better and decide Wanda's something horrifying to her, but for now...they need this. Wanda can give her a port in the storm if Loki can help her feel less like a living weapon. "We're all right," she repeats, nuzzling closer. "Take what you need. I'm here."
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"I want to be good to you," Loki finally says. "I want to give you light too."
She settles back in again, closing her eyes once more and listens to the sound of Wanda breathing, of her own heartbeat, and revels in the momentary peace.
Something in her brain is telling her it won't last, so she should enjoy it while she can.
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